Seeking to Understand

The idea for this week's blog came to me while sitting in some sales training reviewing content based on the idea of seeking first to understand, then to be understood. Now that idea isn't very new to living or selling, but I had to ask myself, "is this me?"

The idea of seeking first to understand goes back to the bible, but it is still as relevant today as ever. As we become more of a "me first" society, an idea like trying to understand our customers before offering up a solution can really separate us from our competition. This is not just an exercise to be applied to the client relationship, but can be implemented in our everyday interactions with everyone we meet.

First, I want to caution those reading that this isn't a "tip" or trick to be added to the tool bag, but rather a way of living that will (hopefully) become who we are. It is a belief that in order to be effective needs to be nurtured and practiced in our everyday lives. Just like all good stuff there is some good news and bad news associated with this way of life. Once we start to practice thinking of how we can understand before we seek to be understood, life - and consequently our careers - start to become less of a grind. That's the bad news - this is going to take work. 

The good news is that anyone can do it. You've probably already got the necessary tools needed to start practicing this TODAY! When I was sitting in training last week, I was thinking about the times in my life where I've lived this way. The fact that this isn't a new philosophy should also provide you examples of times you've lived this way too. The idea is to become aware. So how do we start?

Well, today is a great day to begin. When your wife says, she doesn't really want anything for Mother's Day today, ask her what "nothing" means. Dictionary.com has a modest 19 different definitions for the word and I don't think any of those definitions included, "a steak dinner, pedicure, and a nice card". You get my point. When a client says one thing it is important that we really understand what they mean before we attempt to solve the problem we think they just told us they had. It is easy to get excited about having a client actually call us back and give us time to discuss a problem they want us to help them solve, so our natural instinct is to come up with some killer solution complete with all the bells and whistles, then sit back blow on our fingers like super heroes only to find out when they said "sound system", they were actually talking about the audio-conferencing in their Board Room and not the powered loud speakers in their auditorium.

I always want to be learning. I think it's one of my strongest characteristics. The people that I want to emulate in sales and life seem to have an unquenchable desire for continuing education. I can read all the books I want, listen to all the podcasts available, and ready trade article after trade article, but that's no excuse for practical experience. I need to practice what I learn. Learning by doing is always beneficial for me. It's easy to read a book, learn some quotes, and pretend those quotes are now your experience, but what I'm trying to do is reach the next level of living and selling. I want this to be a natural way of working and living. So, I'm going to practice. Tonight. I'm making "it doesn't matter" for dinner. 

Happy Mother's Day to all the mom's out there for being the rocks I'm sure most of us would say you are. Thank you for always being there.

Everyone Has A Story, Tell Yours

Everyone is selling something. Whatever your profession, you've got an idea, a product, a proposition, or a service to sell. Everyone also has a story to tell. The most successful sales people are those who tell their stories well and in a way their customers hear it best. We all tell our stories differently and what interesting to you may not be interesting or important to me. What's important is that we tell it truthfully and with enthusiasm. I can't count the number of times someone has been telling me a story about something whose subject isn't at first glance all that interesting to me, but their enthusiasm and knowledge of the material is so honest and interesting, I eventually want to know more. I've watched countless documentaries on Netflix where the subject matter isn't the reason I'm searching, but because the person recommending it to me explains it to me with a story so engaging that the subject becomes almost secondary. 

As salespeople, I think storytelling is a lost art in getting the customer to relate to you in a way that wants them to know more about what you do or have to offer. The first order of prospecting is to get the meeting and i'm not sure there is a more effective way to interest a customer than with a story that ties their story to yours. As a consumer, I'm not likely to buy from you if the story you're telling doesn't hold my interest.

I'm not pretending that we're all Stephen King or J.K. Rowling, but I'm sure Stephen King and J.K. Rowling are OK with that. They understand the stories they are telling are THEIR stories and they sell plenty of books to people who love their stories. I've never read one Suzanne Collins (Mockingjay) or Stefenie Meyer (Twilight) book, but does that mean that neither of those two storytellers have a quality product to sell? Collins has sold almost 90 million books and Meyers has sold over 100 million copies of her books!

We all have a story to tell and if we stick to our own, we will reach those customers who can relate. We might not reach them all, but we will have success working with people who relate or enjoy our story because we tell it honestly and with enthusiasm. Try it the next time you want to get something from a customer. Whether that something is an appointment from a hard to reach CEO, or your 3-year old who needs to pick up those painful legos from the living room floor. 

We all have a story to tell, what's yours?