As we approach go time on the great Eclipse of 2017, my news-feeds have been filled with articles warning me not to stare directly at
the sun. I haven’t had a chance to personally thank everyone for this
information, so I thought I would do my part and craft a quick, last minute,
beginner’s guide to help with your safe eclipse viewing pleasure. For some
reason, it appears all logic is getting thrown out the window and one of the
more dangerous effects of this eclipse is the brainwashing that on August 21,
2017, it might possibly be OK to stare at the sun.
This is false. Do not fall victim to whatever force is providing
you this sun staring permission! I haven’t had time to delve into all of the
potential conspiracies around why we should all go blind, but there are any
number of possibilities; Trump, Clinton (take your pick of which one), Al Gore,
Michael Moore, Steve Bannon, Aliens, Hitler, Putin, North Korea, SNL, CNN,
State of Illinois, State of California, or the 1987 Bruce Willis movie, Blind
Date. Rest assured, you can certainly find one that will lead you to the truth.
The truth is out there. So in an effort to help you keep your eyesight, I’ve
compiled a list of 10 things you should stare at other than the sun, and it isn’t
really polite to stare, so just take a look.
These are in no
particular order.
·
Adam Judge home run blast
– the rookie Paul Bunyon-esque NY Yankee slugger has been dropping cartoon like blasts
·
Dwayne
“The Rock” Johnson’s Instagram page. He’s funny, he’s built, he’s not embarrassing,
and he’s got a social media flair that makes Instagram fun.
·
Bill
Burr animated videos on YouTube. This animated helicopter pilot bit
taken from his popular Netflix special, I’m Sorry You Feel That Way is
hilarious. Watch all the animated videos. Repeatedly. And again.
·
I’m a sucker for field to table videos. For those
not familiar with that concept, it is when the subject catches the animal and
then cooks it all on the same video. I’m not sure anyone has this down better
than Robert Arrington of the Deer Meet for
Dinner channel. He has a great appreciation and love of the outdoors and
his energy is totally positive. DMFD has hog hunts, crocodile hunts, deep sea
fishing, frog legs, you name it, and Robert has probably caught and cooked it.
His weekly Tasty Tuesday segments are always great to look forward to.
·
Speaking of cooking, Scott Rea of the Scott Rea
Project and his Butchery
and Cookery channel has some great videos. I discovered him while viewing
dozens of deer processing videos. He is Scottish, so there’s a different take
on what he cooks and how he prepares his animals and dishes.
·
In case you hadn’t heard, rock band Phish recently
played 13 nights at New York’s Madison Square Garden where they played 26 sets,
237 different songs, and no repeats. They also played a “Lawn Boy Reprise”.
Seriously. Read more about this epic residency here.
·
When it comes to Twitter, it’s a blast following Jimmy Fallon. In this climate where
entertainment stars are trying hard to be political experts, Fallon tends to
stick to comedy most nights. He’s had his moments of dipping his toes in the political
commentary, but he’s a late night host and they’ve been doing that for years.
His “Thank You Notes” and live tweeting allow for great fan interaction and I
think he’s hilarious.
·
The
Grand Canyon. When it comes to National Parks, is there anything better?
·
For your Sunday Morning, there’s nothing better than CBS Sunday Morning. I don’t
always get to watch it live, but I do follow along with the show and it’s
normally feel good stories.
·
Since I was a kid, the fall always meant going
back to school and the Major
League Baseball playoffs. There’s just something about the MLB playoffs
that makes me feel like a kid again. I don’t think there’s anything better in
sports. Not the NFL, not McGregor v. Mayweather, not anything soccer related.
For me, nothing is more exciting than the MLB playoffs.
Protect yourselves tomorrow. I don’t want to be a buzzkill,
but DO NOT STARE AT THE SUN. You will suffer the consequences which may or may
not include blindness. With that being said, enjoy the eclipse tomorrow, it’s
going to be out of sight!
~mas
